


siphoning your gasoline

by toadsage



Series: a taste for cash [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Minor Violence, Post-Apocalypse, Techno-Futuristic AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 10:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11644992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toadsage/pseuds/toadsage
Summary: What they find at the Killing field.





	siphoning your gasoline

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the writing style of A Clockwork Orange. I'm trying to work on making my voices sound more unique and a study in Taka and violence seemed like the best way to do it?

The Uchiha’s just lemoning it right there, his suit bowed like he’s making peace with something or someone else higher above. I don’t believe in that shit, not since Kabuto first tried to liao with Me about it. It’s all carkshit in My onion and that’s just the fact of the matter. He, the Uchiha from the govids that is, doesn’t seem to be tied up or anything and I wonder why he doesn’t just leg it instead of lemoning in this Killing field like a practice target. No one in the 6th’d like his pasty mug much in their part of town, he’s just lucky Sasuke’s a benevolent sort of godguy. If I ran this place he’d’ve already been dead but from tinging Sasuke’s reaction to the strange caller I know better than to shoot, even though My gun’s been drawn since we got outta the vee hic all (automobile, that is). 

 

This Cherry Bomb here is clearly pretty on it or something cuz whoever she is she’s able to capture one of the most popular n famous of the Uchiha and he’s right in the flesh here. Some parta Me wants to slap him open an see all that vodcran slip slip slip out but I know Sasuke’s gotta make the call on the big guys living or carking so I stay silent and say nothing except pick up a button box lying on the floor. 

 

The button box is about as big as a show with four raised round buttons as big as a plant (subdermic implants, which tend to be just a touch smaller than Karin’s fingernails), each with a cartoon picture of a fruit. Of course, I’ve never seen a fruit in My whole damn life ‘slong as I’ve been awake, but I can recognise the pictures well enough from fudcans enough in My life that I can tell it’s fruits when I see it. This Cherry Bomb is a strange one true. 

 

“Hey,” I says, holding the box up to show Sasuke so He knows it’s there, “t’fuck’s this for anyway?” 

“It’s a bomb,” the Uchiha says and Sasuke draws His gun on the Uchiha, fuckin finally. 

 

Can’t wait to see the glugglug or maybe give him a good old strut but instead Sasuke holds up His show to tell Me to stop.  _ Finefine  _ I says but Sasuke isn’t even tinging to Me anymore but the Uchiha instead. The Uchiha’s head is in the clouds but I reckon someone’s installed a veeb (voice box is the long name and it’s like a cellscreen implant that some rich people used to have but it’s too insecure to be pop nowadays) so I just peep him until he speaks again. 

 

“She says,” he licks his lips, “she wants you to know it’s a bomb. If you want to kill me, press the wrong button. If you want to keep in contact, press the right button. That will defuse your bomb. i think i am the contact, for now.” 

 

So it’s the five of Us in this Killing field, a barren urban desert of broken glass and electros and probably shit and piss too. Killing fields aint ever look like a Town Hall, not since the countries became united and the suburbs became bomb sites. The five of Us is Me (Suigetsu, your most gracious and humble narrator), Sasuke (Our irreverent Leader), Juugo (the freakiest freak this side of the Wars), and Karin (a cunt). All of Us are armed to our chompers in guns and shivs that we’ve stolen from the pigs and suits and anyone with more money than sense. Between the four of Us we can easily overpower the hostage. 

 

“A bomb?” I ask him, excited to peep the spaghetti bolognese of  _ the  _ Itachi Uchiha, government shill and one of the few Uchiha elite. The Uchiha were one of the more famous clans to run the United Countries, and Me and Taka (that’s what we call ourselves because it’s ku) hate all the clans. They’re like, the system, and there’s nothing worse than the fucking system. 

“Give me the controller,” Sasuke in the joykiller voice and I hand it to Him even though I don’t wanna. 

 

He only takes a moment to work out the riddle, and I peep the Uchiha visibly deflating from the tense position he’d been lemoning in. I figure he won’t cark it and prod him with the tip of My clomp and he gives me a look that says he would kill Me if he wasn’t at Our mercy. Hahahahahahaha.

 

“Now what, Sasuke?” Karin (the bitch) simpers like She always does and I roll my peepers round and she just birds me. The bitch. 

“i have directions,” the Uchiha butts in, and Juugo adjusts his gun threateningly. 

“To what?” Juugo growls, and I reach for my tranq darts just in case case. Can’t have him beasting on us right now when the whole situation is delicate like a civvie’s throat. 

“To the meet up point,” the Uchiha says, “She’s got information she’d like to share with you, someone better than i to negotiate with you.” 

 

“Dude, did you piss your pants?” I laugh, clocking the wetness all on his knees and crotch of his uni. 

“Not the time, Suigetsu,” Karin hisses, and I bird her too.

“If he’s gonna get in our vee hic, cunty, I dun’ want him getting Our good boy Sasuke’s leather all grody.” 

“We can just put him in the boot, dumbass.” 

“How’s he going to impart instructions, then?” Juugo asks Her, and that’s My boy, standing up to the bitch like that. 

“ _ Yeah,  _ Karin,” I echo, taunting her til Her face goes from red to blue with rage. She daren’t break face in front of Sasuke but I can tell She wants to. 

 

“Shut up,” is all Sasuke needs to say and We all clack our chompers together like that because We know what Sasuke’s like when He gets in one of His moods like that. “he’ll ride in the front on a garbage bag. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Karin repeats, and I shoot her a shocker of a glare. (Bitch.)

 

So We arrange him on the front passenger seat of the vee hic and I sit behind him and press a gun to the back of his head so he knows if he pulls anything funny he’ll be tasting lead but he just lemons all tense and clasps his shows together so hard I think he’s gonna pull red out with his nails. 

 

“Hey, Uchiha,” I taunt, and he flinches when I shoot the gun at a passing vee hic right next to his ear. Karin laughs, and Sasuke laughs along with Her and We all go hahahahah including even Juugo, and the Uchiha looks like he’s gonna piss his pants again.


End file.
